Governor Tony Evers wanted to support local businesses on Mother’s Day:

You know what would have been even better for local florists and flower farmers on Mother’s Day? If the state of Wisconsin would have allowed them to be open instead of closing them as “non-essential businesses.”

Florists could only be open for deliveries and internet sales. Dads and their children were forbidden by Evers from visiting their local florists and gift shops to pick out a gift for Mom.

Maybe the governor has a black market, back-alley florist in mind. “Psst. Wanna see what’s in the cooler? Go around the back, knock three times and tell them Big Tony sent you. The password is ‘gubernatorial.'”

Sorry mom. Sorry to the Lovely Doreen from Waukesha. I know you’re disappointed that I broke the law, but I hope you liked the flowers. I’ll write you from Coronavirus prison every day until the governor issues my pardon.